March 29, 2011 - Feeling __________
Back in January I touched on the topic of Mental Health. This topic has not been more prevalent to me than in the last two weeks or so. My mental status has been severely depressed. I get down in the dumps just like everyone else, I'm sure, but I'm usually able to pull myself out of it fairly quickly. A day or two tops. But, for whatever reason, I wasn't seeming to be able to pull out of my spiraling depression. It was like a monster feeding on itself. My thoughts would wander to something negative, which would reiterate itself over and over until I was in such a mood that every little thing would seem insurmountable. I've felt tired, sad, and angry all the time. At work I felt as if I was always on the cusp of just losing it! I even disrespected one of our regular patients, which I really shouldn't have done, and ordinarily wouldn't have done (no matter how much he deserves it). I'm normally driven by logic and reasoning and can talk myself out of angry outbursts, but at that moment, it just wasn't happening.
I still managed to keep my appointment with my trainer, Katie, last Thursday and discussed with her how I have not been eating well, not been sleeping well (which she pointed out just by looking at me), and not exercising in the least. And we determined that the brain, being the control center of everything we do, needs to be functioning properly if you expect your body to function properly. If you're not keeping your mind healthy and focused, your body can't be healthy and focused either. We're kind of like a fire hydrant in that way: if your head's not screwed on tight, your body's gonna let itself go (maybe not so dramatically, but you get the idea).
Rest assured, dear reader, that I am feeling much better now, thanks in no small part to many many discussions with Sarah (we determined that we work much better as a team!), and have renewed focus and energy. Early last week, during a deep slump, I made an appointment to see a shrink. And though I am feeling better, I will still be keeping this appointment. I am viewing it as a personal training session for my mind. Much like Katie, he can give me the tools and exercises to make my brain strong and healthy. So the next time the depression bug comes around, I will be better able to defend myself.
Another point occurs to me as I'm writing this. People don't really want to talk about the fact that they see a shrink, or even think that they may feel a need to. Some folks may read this and think, "Gasp! Why is he telling everyone he's going to see a psychiatrist?! Doesn't he know how personal that is?" I think this is a load of phooey! Understand folks, if you don't feel right physically, you go to the doctor, and if you don't feel right mentally, you go see another doctor. What's so wrong or illogical about that? People aren't afraid to tell others that they've got the flu, why can't we tell others that we're feeling depressed? This isn't (or shouldn't be) a taboo subject.
Life is stressful, even more so nowadays it seems. Take care of yourself.. physically and mentally. And as I've learned in these last couple of weeks, you CAN'T take care of yourself physically if you're not taking care mentally!
:-D
Hello.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through a UGA football blog. I always like to see a fellow Dawg make the Ironman journey. Stick with it because I promise that it is a life changing journey. No, you won't pop out the other side as some kind of bronze Adonis with chicks hanging all over you or find the focus/strength to crush any problem that dares cross your path. Instead you discover a lot about yourself. Honestly, some of it ain't purdy, but most of it is really amazing stuff.
So, my first was B2B in 2009, and if you need any insight I can tell you everything I know. Of course, most of it is hazy.
Finally, you need a short term goal. November 2012 is too far away to get you focused and motivated. Perhaps a late season HIM or a century is in order.